Lorrin,

Tomorrow we leave for the Cavs game. I am super excited for the one-on-one time with Jeff; the car ride alone will be peaceful and magical, but i’m also dying a little bit inside. It’s our first, TRUE road trip without my sidekicks.

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 I have no doubt that I’ll enjoy myself! Jeff and I really don’t ever get to have a normal conversation in the car, so this will be a treat! I won’t be unbuckling my seatbealt every 5 seconds to get the lollipop someone dropped or refill sippy cups for the thirstiest kids in the world. We won’t have to listen to WOW: Disney Edition 2 tracks 2, 6, 7 over and over and over again. It’ll just be a normal, adult conversation for 120 minutes. I don’t even know how to handle that. I might even throw in a few curse words. Just for fun. The game itself will be fun too! We’re going with Liz and Patrick and we get to see Lebron and most likely eat at a restaurant, just focusing on feeding myself and no one else. Can you tell I don’t do any of this? ever!
I just can’t help by feel a little twinge of guilt for leaving the kids for a FULL DAY. I can hear how silly it sounds when I say it out loud. I know that lots of people do it. but I. DON’T.  I know. It’s healthy to get some time to yourselves. It helps you regroup. It makes you cherish the time with them more when you return. I agree with all of that. But all I think about is the stuff I’m most likely missing out on. Finley says the funniest stuff. What if I miss the funniest thing she’s ever said while I’m gone? Or I miss a moment to teach her something new? And Landry! He’s learning new words everyday! Forming sentences. He amazes me everyday with his communication. What if I miss a new word? Who will hold him for 12 of the 13 hours he’s awake? :) Who will translate for him?

I have no doubt in my mind that they will have so much fun with Jeff’s parents. And they never get one-on-one time with just them, so I am happy for all 4 of them to be able to have such quality time for the day. I just think about so many details of the day. What if they won’t eat meals for them and they want junk all day? What if Landry won’t nap or go to bed for them? What if I’m having a blast while everyone here is stressed or frustrated or exhausted????

I was so proud of myself for using a babysitter or our neighbors to watch our kids to go to a movie or to dinner. I felt like I was making large strides! This is just new territory to me. And I know that the more you do it, the easier it gets. But how do I get to the point where i WANT to do this more? Ask me Sunday night when we get home. :)

Stay tuned for frantic and most likely depressing texts from me. Also, lots of selfies of me and Jeff, and me and Liz. And hopefully me and Jeff and Lebron.

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Anybody else out there have issues leaving their sidekicks?

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